Someone said I should start writing again...

“You should write a poem about that,” I say to my mentor within five minutes of walking into his office.
 “No Liz. YOU should write a poem about that.”
 “I haven't written a word since I finished that chapter. Not even a few lines of poetry. I don't even Blog anymore.”
 “I know.” He looks disappointed. I hate it when he looks disappointed.

 It had been two years since I sat in my mentor's office; it could have been yesterday as comfortable as it felt. I went there to pick up a copy of the book he holds me responsible for. My Dad's stories are in the book, well a part of the story is anyway. Writing that, making it feel the way I actually felt, was a draining, painful experience. I may have spent more time crying about it than I did writing it. I might have sat at my computer, trying to write it realizing there were blank weeks in my memory; maybe even blank months. Not only did I have to fully explore my feelings about what had happened, I also had to admit to myself who I was during that time and how it must have been to be around me. It scared me. I wasn't sure there was much I liked about that person. And when My Mentor finally told me the revisions were done, I didn't have to stare at those words anymore, I was relieved. I didn't write anymore.

 So as we sat in his office, and talked about my goals for the future he takes the time to inform me that this, the writing thing, is what I should be using to change the world. He says that the education stuff is great, and the teaching, and the becoming a professor would be nice but its this writing thing I do that is really has the potential to change the world.

 I never thought of it that way, and the weight of the thought... well it's heavy.

 This writing thing is the thing I do because I want to, its the thing I do because I can. I don't do it to change anything, or fix anything. At best I do it to understand things a little more than I do when I only let the words roll around in my head. I tell him this, that I don't think my silly little blogs and poetry are really changing anything.

 He tells me maybe they will.
 He tells me to start writing again.
 The surprising part is that I'm actually listening.