I rewind...

It’s barely over two minutes long, so I watch it over and over.
Those two minutes, captured ten years ago.
I I wish now that our voices had been recorded at the beginning of that dance.

“Dad, I can’t go backwards.” I said tipping my head down slightly to talk directly into his ear. “I’m going to step on my dress, fall down and crack my head open.”
“Okay, I’ll go backwards.”
“Don’t spin me too fast, I’ll get dizzy,” I say it and his shoulders move in a gentle chuckle as he begins to pull me across the dance floor.
“Just trust me Liz. I’ll never let you fall.”

And there we are, moving across the small dance floor as if we had practiced years for this moment; me in my big white dress, Dad in his tux. We are perfect.

It goes by too fast. I rewind. Watch it again.
It’s blurry through my tears.
It goes by too fast. I rewind. Watch it again.
Vedder wonders why I do this to myself every year.
It goes by too fast. I rewind. Watch it again.
I miss him.
It goes by too fast. I rewind. Watch it again.
I miss him.
It went by too fast.
There’s no rewind button I can press.

I watch it again.